Bluffer's Guide to Wine: Bluff Your Way in Wine - Brossura

Harry Eyres was introduced to serious wine appreciation - in the form of light Moselle - at the age of eight. He went on his first tasting trip (to Champagne and Burgundy) aged 13, and has never looked back since. With wine running in his blood, in both senses (his father is a wine merchant), he twice managed to carry off the coveted individual prize in the Oxford v. Cambridge Tasting Match (the bibbers' Boat race).

He went on to Christie's Wine Department, and then spent some time teaching in England and in Spain, finally deciding to become a full-time writer for the Spectator, the Times and various publishers. Between books, he returns to Spain to anaesthetise his palate with Fundador brandy in the bars of old Barcelona.

His main interests seem to be reading, writing and drinking, not necessarily in that order.

If the wine doesn't smell of anything try "Rather dumb on the nose, don't you find?" or "Still very closed-up". Alternatively, if it smells very strongly, you can say, "It's very forward on the nose". None of these comments, of course, commits you to an opinion of the wine's quality.
Bluffer's Guides is a series of snappy little books containing facts, jargon, and all you need to know for instant expertise.